I'm Such a Fool (あたしって、ほんとバカ) is the eighth episode of Puella Magi Madoka Magica. It originally aired February 24th, 2011 in Japan and is produced by SHAFT.
Sayaka finishes off Elsa Maria, but refuses to use the Grief Seed, giving it to Kyoko, and doesn't feel well afterward. Madoka helps her go back home. They are sitting on a bench with Madoka crying over Sayaka's actions. Sayaka tells that all that is left for her in life is fighting witches. Madoka tells that she wants to make Sayaka happy, but Sayaka runs away, telling Madoka not to follow her, while her Soul Gem is dimming.
Kyoko and Homura are talking about Walpurgisnacht in Homura's apartment, Kyubey appears uninvited and tells them about Sayaka's current condition. Madoka goes to Sayaka's apartment to find out that she's been absent since the day before. As Hitomi and Kamijo are walking home, the two of them stop in a park and have a lively conversation. Sayaka watches from afar.
Homura speaks with Sayaka, trying to get her to use a Grief Seed, but Sayaka refuses. Sayaka accuses Homura of putting up false pretenses and always lying to them. Homura admits she is just doing things for Madoka's sake and prepares to kill Sayaka, but Kyoko interferes. Homura uses a flashbang grenade and escapes.
Sayaka is riding in a train where two men are discussing and badmouthing their girlfriends and generally acting misogynistic. She interferes, asking them how they can speak this way about women who love them. Her train of thought grows progressively more fatalistic as she wonders why she bothered trying to save such a worthless world, and she begins to transform into darkness.
Madoka talks with Kyubey and he tells her about her apparent power. She seems to almost agree to become a magical girl, but Homura suddenly appears and riddles Kyubey's body with bullets before she can form a contract with him. Homura then breaks down in tears in front of Madoka, who has a strange moment of realization and asks if she has met Homura before. Before Homura can answer Madoka excuses herself and goes searching for Sayaka, ignoring Homura's calling out to her. Another body of Kyubey appears and eats his previous dead body. Kyubey realizes that Homura is a person from another time, and Homura says Kyubey's real identity is that of an "Incubator."
Kyoko finds Sayaka and sees that her Soul Gem is almost completely dark. Sayaka says that the hope and despair must always be in balance. Ironically she saved the boy who was in complete darkness, wishing for a miracle to get him out of this darkness, but by doing so she made herself fall into that same darkness that he was in, balancing things out, saying that this is the way magical girls are and calling herself stupid thinking that she could ask for a miracle for someone while remaining happy herself. In the end, she understood that you can't have a wish(miracle) without giving something major in return (her soul),crying, her Soul Gem explodes, turning into a Grief seed, creating a maze with Sayaka apparently becoming a witch.
The episode ends with Kyubey noting "since this country calls women who are still growing up shoujo (少女 girls), for girls who on the way of becoming majo (魔女 witches), it's logical to call them mahou shoujo (魔法少女 magical girls)."
Magical Girls Edit
- At the beginning of the episode, when Sayaka has defeated Elsa Maria, the Grief Seed she picks up and throws to Kyoko is Elsa Maria's. The scene then cuts to Sayaka. When it cuts back to Kyoko, she is holding Elly's Grief Seed.
- The train conversation scene between the two hosts is actually based on a real event that Gen Urobuchi witnessed.
- In the novel, Kyubey transmits Sayaka's last thoughts to Madoka via telepathy. Her last words before witching out were "I'm sorry, Madoka."